I’m proud to be a woman. I’m proud of the progress women have made over the generations. I also cannot wait to see what is in store for my daughter who at a mere age of two has so much more progress and experiences to have as she grows into a woman. But I also feel conflicted about it all.
I feel conflicted on a daily basis on how to give the best of myself both at home and in my career because I am passionate about both of these roles. But no matter how much passion and devotion I give, I continuously feel as though one must take the back seat for the other on any given day. How do I justify coming home to that beautiful baby girl and telling her mommy needs to do more work after I’ve been gone all day, and she’ll be asleep in 3 hours? But if I don’t research that reading practice how do I tell the teacher it’ll be one more day before we can discuss the struggling student in her class? And the reality is I need my sleep. God bless the people who don’t, but I do so at some point I can’t do it all.
It all just seems so overwhelming at times. Exciting-yes, but almost unachievable. I do believe that as women were given more respect and rights in the work realm, we never did lighten our load of expectations for the home front.
Home-cooked meals (organic of course)-check.
Laundry done, folded, and returned to drawers-check.
Pinterest-themed birthday party with bells and whistles planned-check.
Pay the bills, sweep the floors, plant the flowers….check.
Shower myself?….I guess that’ll have to wait….
I sit back at night feeling accomplished but sometimes I wonder where does my true happiness lie? Will it be in landing that administrative job I aspire to get someday? Or will I be content never reaching the top of the ladder, but being home to attend to my family as much as possible? Will my daughter reach her own adulthood aspiring to be just like me or taking the other road I chose not to travel?